Happy New Year to you all, my bloggy friends. We had THE best New Years Eve last night … inviting 21 beautiful friends to come and help us CELEBRATE with a potluck tea. Soooo much fun. We played Pictionary & Spoons to while away the hours until the clock struck 12. It was sort of a birthday celebration for me too (I’ll be another year older on Thursday) … so all in all a wonderful way to see a New Year in.
I’ve been a reader of Stephanie Howell’s Just Me My Soldier and our 4 Little Chicks blog for a few years now. A friend recomended I read her blog to check out her gorgeous scrapbooking style. I don’t know about you … but I have a list of my “faves” that I like to check in with every now and then, and Stephanie would definitely be one of my top blog reads. She’s funny, honest, down to earth and truly inspirational being the wife of a Soldier (who is frequently absent from home on deployment) AND Mama to 4 little girls age 5 and under (that’s NOT a typo – last 2 were twins).
Anyway, she’s had this “Blog your Heart” challenge going in recent times, and after reading her New Year post today I feel inspired to “Blog my Heart” ~ so here goes.
2012 & New Years Resolutions (in no particular order):~
* 2012. This is the first time in quite a while that I actually feel positive about the coming year.
It will be 4 years in February since G and I separated. They say that time heals all wounds and I really do believe that … but gee at the time you are in the middle of “hard stuff” it doesn’t feel like it.
2011 I dubbed “The Year of Procrastination” because there were lots of things I kept putting in the “too hard” basket. The financial split in a divorce settlement is a difficult thing … how do you put the almost 19 years of marriage you had into dollars and cents? The fact that you give up 10 years of your “life/career” to be at home with your children, homeschooling them and enjoying the lifestyle that you are privileged to lead ~ how do you “make up” for the lost income and superannuation? What’s “fair”? What’s “equitable”? This isn’t a whinge session … this is just trying to put into words how I felt. In my mind I knew I HAD to deal with it all, but it was easier to try and pretend it wasn’t there, perhaps hoping it might magically disappear. Of course it never does … and eventually I knew that I HAD to get on and sort myself out. I spoke with a Mortgage Broker who assured me that I would be able to remortgage the house so the property can be transferred into my name alone (my biggest fear was that I couldn’t afford it, or that the Bank wouldn’t loan me money). I finally had my tax return done just before Christmas – after procrastinating since July – because I was expecting a big tax bill. Thankfully, instead I get a small refund.
All of these things were huge and weighing terribly on me over 2011, and yet when I finally plucked up the courage to confront my demons … everything worked out beautifully.
God has provided amazingly over the 4 years that I have been separated. We don’t have a lot “extra” but we don’t go without either and a trip to NZ for Mum’s 70th plus a trip to Vietnam this year were like mini miracles to me!
It’s OK to be able to say to the kids that I’m not going to buy big Christmas presents for them (because I can’t afford it) – but yet still be able to give them gifts that I know they will enjoy all the same.
So to wrap up this incredible ramble … 2012 feels like a year full of promise, of exciting challenges (like my trip to Vietnam in February giving out shoeboxes with Samaritan’s Purse), of being at peace with myself and my situation, finally accepting the demise of my marriage and moving forward, even being open to the possibility of new relationships in the future (which up until now just wasn’t even an option to be considered for my broken and battered heart). Yay for new beginnings!
And now on to New Years resolutions …
Do More Exercise (actually, do SOME exercise would be a definite improvement for 2012). I try to walk with a friend once a week which is a bit hit and miss depending on what’s going on. However I scored a FREE cross trainer yesterday and I bought a second-hand Thigh Master at the end of last year for $10 – so the plan is to set up a workout station AND ACTUALLY USE IT!! Heeee, I am SO not motivated to exercise … however as I inch ever closer to (fabulous) middle age ~ OK if I’m honest, I’m actually past it!
, I know that time is running out for me to actually just get on and DO IT. For the first time in my life, weight is creeping on, I have a few “rolls” which didn’t used to be there … and “being good” for a week or so in the food stakes doesn’t see a reduction when I hop on the bathrooms scales. Soooo 2012 is the year to move it and lose it (I hope!). But it’s also about being more active and keeping a strong, healthy body into old age (perish the thought).
* Menu plan. I am a shocker for not being organised when it comes to cooking meals for the kids and I. I am one of those people who would happily pop a pill if someone would arrange for all of my nutritional requirements to be produced like that. Unfortunately I have 3 growing children who need feeding on a regular basis (darn it all) … so this year I want to actually plan meals in advance for the week and do grocery shopping accordingly. I have a fussy eater which makes life a bit tricky at times, however he is improving and I hope eventually he might eat like a normal human being (instead of slathering everything in sight in tomato sauce before it goes down the hatch).
* Spend more TIME with the Kids. In our busy lives, it’s often easy to forget to do things with the children, to turn off the computer/TV and spend time together as a family. G is great at taking the kids to the beach and for bike rides – me not so much, so this year we’ll be pulling out the cards and board games and doing fun things together, riding our bikes, going for walks, just hanging out together. Angus will be 14 this year, so there won’t be much time left of him wanting to hang out with his dear old Ma.
* Reduce my Computer TIME. Every year I say this, and every year I don’t do it. Like I said above, I have blogs I enjoy reading … but honestly I waste A LOT of time sitting in front of my computer screen each day. I bought myself an iPad the other day (I got given some money for Christmas and decided to “treat” myself). I recognise that the potential for more screen time wasting is huge, so I plan to give myself a daily limit (say 30 minutes) and MAKE myself stick to it. I think I might actually journal screen time in my diary to keep myself accountable. This should also help with the point above enabling me to spend more time with the kids (I hope)!
* Project Life. I have bought a new Project Life kit for 2012. I LOVED using the kit last year (I must remember to take a few photos to show you how it all looks). It felt good to be printing photos and documenting what we got up to 2011. This year I would like to take more “life” shots of what we get up to every day. It’s easy to take pictures when you are out and about or of special occasions, but things like our house, the car we drive, the kids shoes & clothes, what we eat … those are things I find interesting looking back at my own childhood photos – so I hope my kids will enjoy that too in years to come. It’s a fantastic system, and I hope to go back and capture the kids’ earlier years too so that they each have an album of memories to keep, aside from our family albums.
* Do some Crafty Things. I made a cushion for Mum for her 70th birthday (more on that when I get back to my NZ trip posts) and it was so lovely to be making something and being crafty. Bella is a little girl who LOVES to make things. For Christmas I bought her a stack of material and embroidery thread, so she can make herself a dolly which is in one of her craft books. I photocopied the page with the dolly from her book and wrote her a little note to tell her that the materials were for her to make a dolly of her own. The look on her face was priceless, and I’m sure she would say it was one of her favourite presents (and probably least expensive). I grew up with a Mum and Grannie who were both amazing sewers, and Grannie also used to spin her own wool, crochet, knit, weave, etc. She even taught herself to tat before I got married and made all the lace for my wedding dress. Both Mum and Grannie taught me some of their skills, and this is a heritage I feel a responsibility to pass on. My daughter obviously loves craft and making things, and it will be lovely to share crafty things together.
Well if you’ve made it to the bottom of this post – you most likely deserve a medal! Thanks for visiting and reading my blog. I do so appreciate your comments and encouragement.
I wish you and your nearest and dearest a year ahead full of blessings, of special moments, of love & happiness … but also some challenges and trials thrown in for good measure – because those are the times when we grow and learn more about ourselves, come to understand who we are, what we stand for, who is there for us, and what really matters and is important in these amazing lives we live.
Love and hugs to you all,
Fee xox